Home Mental Health Why Am I So Lonely? 9 Doable Causes Why — Talkspace

Why Am I So Lonely? 9 Doable Causes Why — Talkspace

Why Am I So Lonely? 9 Doable Causes Why — Talkspace


Printed on: 18 Oct 2023

Why You May Feel So Lonely

Loneliness is a common human emotion, one thing that everybody experiences at one level or one other in life. Although it’s regular, feeling lonely could be a devastating, crushing expertise.

In case you’ve ever felt so lonely that it’s affecting your life, social relationships, job, or skill to perform, it’s time to get assist. Extreme loneliness can result in extra vital points, like melancholy, anxiousness, or, in excessive instances, ideas of suicide. 

Realizing why you are feeling so lonely is important to beat your emotions and discover methods to attach with others. If you perceive the foundation reason for your loneliness, you can begin implementing efficient coping instruments. 

Study concerning the widespread causes of loneliness and how you can deal with them right here. 

1. Lack of Significant Connections

Not having deep connections or significant relationships with others can significantly affect psychological well-being, and feeling lonely typically stems from an absence of those connections. Folks typically really feel lonely in school as they navigate new crowds of individuals they don’t know. It’s not often concerning the variety of folks you recognize, and customarily extra about how vital your relationships are. 

Even in a big social setting or crowd, folks can nonetheless really feel remoted. This phenomenon is named perceived social isolation, and it might happen anytime you’re bodily current with others however don’t really feel linked on both an emotional or an mental degree. 

2. Social Nervousness & Shyness

Social anxiousness and shyness might be the offender for emotions of loneliness. 

Social anxiousness can stop you from forming lasting relationships all through life. The situation is about greater than being shy, although — social anxiousness manifests as a profound, paralyzing worry of social interactions and conditions that’s so extreme that it might result in avoidant behaviors, particularly in social actions. 

“People with social anxiousness are at better danger for loneliness. Emotions of loneliness could also be brought on by an absence of interpersonal relationships, bodily isolation, and divorce.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW 

3. Lack of Liked Ones

Dropping a liked one can create a void that finally results in loneliness. Loss and grief can intensely affect psychological well-being, and it’s not unusual to really feel excessive loneliness when somebody near you is now not in your life.

4. Relocation 

Relocating to a brand new place could be a catalyst for loneliness for some folks. Whereas transferring might be thrilling, feeling lonely is widespread in case you can’t set up a powerful social reference to folks in your new surroundings.

5. Lack of Hobbies or Shared Pursuits

The feeling of loneliness can take over each side of your world. It might depart you with out the need or power to speculate time into hobbies or shared pursuits — issues that may have the ability to convey you pleasure and assist you to foster connections. With out having hobbies, you may really feel additional remoted from others.

6. Life Transitions & Growing older

The journey by life and growing old can result in emotions of loneliness. Each main life transition we expertise later in life — from retirement to shedding folks, to kids rising up and leaving dwelling, to going by or watching family members battle critical well being issues — can all convey a few sense of loneliness as you come to phrases with the truth that your life is progressing.

7. Psychological Well being Circumstances

Psychological well being circumstances like anxiousness and melancholy can feed the cycle of persistent loneliness. Research present that loneliness will increase the danger of melancholy and generalized anxiousness dysfunction (GAD). 

8. The Isolating Feeling of the Digital Age

Know-how and the digital age supply vital advantages relating to connectivity and entry to others. But, for all its good, some features of the digital age, like social media, are identified to extend emotions of loneliness. As an alternative of collaborating in social actions and creating significant relationships, youthful folks and older adults, spend extra time behind a display.

Analysis reveals us that extended use of social media is perhaps linked to signs of melancholy. The good paradox right here is that the very factor social media intends to do — join us — might need the alternative impact, as an alternative driving isolation and loneliness though we predict we’re linked to others. 

9. Low Self-Esteem

Folks with low ranges of self-worth usually tend to expertise continual or persistent loneliness — low shallowness has even been linked to feeling lonely in research. Evidently emotions of worthlessness and concern about how others understand you possibly can stop deep connections in your life. 

“Analysis research present that low shallowness and loneliness can affect each other. Vanity can result in emotions of loneliness when people understand lack of acceptance from others.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

What to Do When You Really feel So Lonely

It’s essential to keep in mind that loneliness isn’t an indication of weak point. Recognizing your emotions is the primary and most essential step you possibly can take towards enhancing damaging ideas tied to loneliness.

Acknowledge your emotions

Acknowledging your feelings and emotions performs a big function in emotional well-being. Figuring out whenever you’re lonely or feeling disconnected from others can alleviate among the misery you’re experiencing.

Be part of a help group

Assist teams might be highly effective assets. They’ll can help you spend time with others with the same relationship with loneliness. The consolation you achieve from these social help conferences may even assist you to overcome among the emotional isolation you expertise and even make a brand new buddy within the course of.

“It’s helpful to affix a help group in case you really feel lonely. It means that you can join with new individuals who could also be sharing comparable emotions and might perceive what you’re going by. The group can result in shared downside fixing, studying about useful neighborhood assets, and gaining a way of belonging.”

Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Work out

Figuring out will increase endorphins, identified temper enhancers that can provide you power and motivation to interrupt out of your cycle of loneliness.

Get entangled or volunteer 

Getting concerned or volunteering will assist you to make social connections effortlessly, permitting you to progressively change into mentally stronger and extra keen to achieve out to others.

Do yoga & meditate

Yoga and mindfulness meditation assist middle you, so you possibly can deal with the current, moderately than fear concerning the previous or the longer term. Each actions profit psychological well-being by lowering stress, enhancing total temper, and preserving you grounded — all of that are methods to fight emotions of loneliness.


Research have demonstrated that journaling is an efficient technique for enhancing psychological well being. Journaling for psychological well being can foster emotional regulation and assist you to establish damaging ideas and habits patterns that may contribute to social isolation.

Preserve a structured routine

People thrive on routine. Sustaining construction can supply stability and reassurance, even during times of loneliness.

Speak By Your Emotions at Talkspace

Feeling lonely can stem from a wide range of causes. Missing significant connections in your life can intensify these emotions. In case you’re feeling very lonely, Talkspace is an on-line remedy platform that may supply instruments like individualized remedy and coping methods that can assist you take care of loneliness

Attain out to Talkspace as we speak to study extra about taking steps towards understanding your loneliness. With assist, you can discover a method to construct stable and significant connections that finally give you a more healthy psychological state.


  1. Steen OD, Ori AP, Wardenaar KJ, van Bathroom HM. Loneliness Associates strongly with anxiousness and melancholy throughout the COVID pandemic, particularly in males and youthful adults. Scientific Stories. 2022;12(1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-13049-9. Accessed August 19, 2023.  
  2. Pantic I. On-line social networking and Psychological Well being. Cyberpsychology, Conduct, and Social Networking. 2014;17(10):652-657. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2014.0070. Accessed August 19, 2023. 
  3. Szcześniak M, Bielecka G, Madej D, Pieńkowska E, Rodzeń W. <P>the function of shallowness within the relationship between loneliness and life satisfaction in late maturity: Proof from Poland</p>. Psychology Analysis and Conduct Administration. 2020;Quantity 13:1201-1212. doi:10.2147/prbm.s275902. https://doi.org/10.2147/prbm.s275902. Accessed August 19, 2023. 

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